fresh

aching for a fresh start. new blog at: www.hyphenated.tumblr.com

Blurry

All of the Above

Without eyes, I am blind.
Without touch, I am numb.
Without ears, I am deaf.
And without mind, I am dumb.

But what am I without passion?

25

why can't we just talk to find out 25+ things about each other? =)

Bravo Miley

*clap clap clap*
Bravo Miley Cyrus. I really don't even know what to say because here is what is going to happen:

You will make a public statement saying that you are sorry and actually are friends with many Asian people, and you did not think such an action would be taken so seriously by the Asian community (nor did you know it was so offensive) BUT you are very sorry and will no doubt have your Asian friend in the picture speak up on your behalf and he'll say how he's not offended by it. Great, you have Asian Cred.

I think the thing that bothers me most is the comments on the TMZ webpage The internet is surely good for one thing and that is racist and ignorant comments.

10. lighten up people, we all know everyone makes jokes about everyone. seriously this crap is getting ridiculous.. stop taking yourselves so seriously. i can laugh at myself no problem
-daddy

Hey "daddy" why don't you fuck off? Who the fuck are you to tell me that? If you are Asian, study a little history and learn about the fucked up things that happened to Asian groups here in the past. "Slanty eyes" has much more weight behind it than you think.

If you are non-Asian, seriously...don't be telling me how to live my life and subject me to your standards of what is and is not "ridiculous". Until you've lived a day as an Asian person, you will never know how things like this feel. It's not about comparing it to things that harm your race or ethnicity either. Don't be bringing up how "oh I can take Jew jokes so why can't you take these jokes". That's terrible for your people, but these things aren't meant to be compared.

Sorry, a bit angry as I read through these comments.

Walk

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It started off as a long walk to 7-11. I just got out of the house and started walking, not really looking to buy anything particular at 7-11. When I arrived at 7-11, part of my mind just told me to keep walking. To where? Who cares. Just keep going and don't even think about stopping.

And that's what I did.

It became therapeutic. It was just me, random songs on my ipod, and a road to anywhere. Most of my thoughts in the beginning revolved around: What are you doing? How long do you plan on walking? Where do you even want to go?

But there was one point where my mind just let all that go, and actually felt free. It didn't matter to me that I had no idea where I was going. It didn't matter to me everyone around me seemed to know exactly where they were going, whether zooming by in their cars, or treading beside me on their bikes. At a point, I simply found peace within myself. What's the rush?


It was on the walk back that I my mind came up with two points.

1. Fuck finding the meaning of life, because trying to figure it out just wastes a lot of time. Live it, don't simply think it. Just start walking.

2. Life is a lot of being who you're not, to find out who you actually are.

It's weird now that I think about it. I've been having issues trying to think of what I want to do in life. Do I want to stick in nonprofit? Do I want to work in higher education? Maybe I want to work corporate? So many different paths to choose from and it's scary to take that first step in any one direction. I believe the reason I fear this first step is because part of me is saying asking what if this is the wrong direction?

But who's to say there is even a right direction?

I think understanding this and the two points I came up with will help me a lot right now.

Mom

From The Color of Truth

Mama Chan is hip. Believe it.

Transcript

Me: Hi, I'd like to report a murder, please send help!
Operator: Ok calm down sir, who is the victim?
Me: My community spirit. He's...he's been mangled and...god it's hard to tell what's left. Can you please send help?
Operator: Help is on its way sir. Can you tell me if the victim is still breathing?
Me: Hold on....Yes he's still breathing. He's still alive!
Operator: Ok, can you ask him what happened?
Me: Ok...he's..he's saying something. Hold on, it's kind of muffled and he's talking kind of slow so I'll translate... Mhmm. Ok.
Me: He said that he was on his way to an event and he was offered a ride in a car. The people in the car seemed nice enough and they said they were headed in the same direction too.
Me: My god..I hope he's going to make it.
Operator: Calm down, help is coming. Continue talking, I'm here with you.
Me: Oh, ok. He said that he...got in the car and the ride seemed fine at first. But then he realized the car was taking the wrong path to the event. He was pretty sure they were headed towards a dead end. So he started to tell the people in the car, but they wouldn't listen.
Operator: What about the driver?
Me: The driver was a bit deaf, so he was always listening to what the others who had originally been in the car were saying. The driver continued the wrong way for what seemed like a year.
Operator: Is this where the incident occurred?
Me: ...He says that no one would listen to him, and he couldn't get out. The car was going too fast and because of the road they were taking, it wasn't possible to jump out.
Operator: Sir, please tell your friend that help is almost there.
Me: O..ok. Did you hear that? You're going to be alright. Just hang in there. Get your mind on something else. Here, just keep telling me the story of what happened.
Me: Hmm ok so the people in the car kept talking, not listening to any suggestions to turn back the car. And as he spoke up, they'd yell at him, kick him, and make him question his worth.
Me: and then..and then...
Operator: Hi sir, are you still there? Is everything okay?
Me: Yah. He jumped out...He couldn't take it anymore and just...jumped. WHY? Oh no, he stopped breathing! What do I do?
Operator: Just hang on, help will be there very soon.

Hour of Traffic

My morning drive can be a piece of art. Click on the pic to see.

Music that keeps me going

Yo-Yo Ma- Ecstasy of Gold (seriously, that's the title)



Detektiv Byran- E18

My day at work was a melodious tennis match between these two songs. I think without any music, I'd go insane at work.